How I Deal With The Days I Feel Defeated
Y’all, life is just a down right struggle sometimes. There are days when I wake up thinking about what I’ll blog about and what I can do to be more successful and how I can’t wait to get to the gym after work and do productive things. Then there are the days, like yesterday, where I wake up feeling depressed and defeated and I don’t even have the mindset to hit the gym to release endorphins - my blog and social media aren’t instantly gaining a million followers, I don’t have rock hard abs, my hair is very fine and straight and refuses to be styled, I don’t live in a mansion, I don’t get to travel around the globe whenever I want to. Sometimes I can’t understand why incredible things don’t just happen by twinkling my nose. It sounds ridiculous and I understand that, but surely there are others out there that deal with similar feelings. It’s hard work to try and be successful, and nothing is ever handed over on a silver platter. It’s even tougher when success doesn’t happen as quickly as you want it to. Sometimes I really struggle and feel like I need to quit everything I’m doing. If I quit then I won’t have to think about it because I won’t be doing it. Only I will. I will think about it. I’ll think about how I failed or how I wasn’t mentally strong enough to push through. There are things that I have quit before because I thought that’d be the easiest decision. But then I constantly think about it over time and wonder why in the hell I let myself talk my way out of it. Why did I stop doing something just because it would take too long to reach success? You make a decision to quit something just to get the stress out of your life and then it just causes a different kind of stress. Life is just a biotch sometimes when it works in these weird circles.
I am thankful that I have such a supportive boyfriend when these weird circle days happen to me. He lets me complain to him on the days I wake up feeling overwhelmed and defeated. He makes it known that all I’m doing is complaining, but he still lets me do it regardless. Can’t say he wants to listen to it either, but he does. He knows that I need to just complain and rant to get things off my chest sometimes. Christopher is a saint for dealing with me on my tough days, but one thing that I absolutely love about him is that he never sugarcoats anything. He never tells me what I want to hear, but what I need to hear. He’ll tell me how unrealistic I’m being but then he stands up, kisses my forehead, hugs me, and reminds me of all the good things we’ve accomplished. He’ll hug me tight and tell me I sound like an entitled millenial brat at the same time, but he’ll also take the time to sit down and help me through every negative thought I have. We’ll discuss how we own a home together, have full time jobs, have our health, have amazing family and friends and eventually I start to feel ok.
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Sometimes you have to tell all of your thoughts and issues to someone just so they can remind you how good you really have it. I could sit down and write out a list of every good thing I can think of, but then I might also write out everything that isn’t good, and then I’d probably start thinking more about the non-good. So I just choose to bug my boyfriend instead. It works for me. Sure, it’s a little unfair to him that he has to listen to my complaints, but he’s a good listener and he hasn’t left me yet! I’m a pretty private person when it comes to my personal issues, but we live together and he see’s my attitude change when something is bothering me. Christopher is a stress reliever. Be more like Christopher.
But in all reality, find someone to talk to. Life throws too much at you for you to deal with it on your own. Find a family member, a significant other, a friend, or maybe even someone at your church or in your community, who is willing to listen to your problems and help you realize that your life really isn’t that bad and could be much worse. Don’t have anyone around like that? Find a therapist. They’re good too. Oh, and get a Dammit Doll, like in my affiliate ad below - perfect for the days you’re stressed OR angry.. My mom bought me one a while back and it’s fantastic.
“Just grasp it firmly by the legs and find a place to slam it, and as you whack the stuffing out, yell DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT!” - Dammit Doll
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